At the same time, I’m sure there’s lots of people that are cool with super forward messages, especially if they’re also looking to meet casual sex partners.
In that sense, suggestive messages could be a good thing.
In fact, both ideologies can be damaging when practiced in excess.
Like anything else, a healthy balance is necessary.
Satisficers are quick decision-makers, gravitating towards the first option that meets their standards.
In contrast, maximizers must examine every option to guarantee that they are making the best possible choice.
Swiping through a seemingly unlimited pool of potential partners, the cycle becomes inevitable. However, if there’s always someone else, there’s never really anyone.
Swipe, match, have a conversation or two until FOMO kicks in. In psychologist Barry Schwartz’s book, , he explains that satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers.
While most people are understanding when you don’t meet their expectations, this is not always the case.
This is because maximizers naturally spend more time and energy reaching a decision and experience more anxiety about whether or not they are making the best choice.
It is important to note that satisficers are not superior to maximizers (or vice versa).
If you lose one person, it’s not a big deal because you have a hundred others at your disposal.
Weigel explains, “the whole way these apps are structured makes it so it sort of seems foolish to sink too much time into any one person you get in front of you if it doesn’t seem exactly right.”Author of Gretchen Rubin, explains that people can be categorized as “satisficers” and “maximizers” (or a mix of both).
Historian Moria Weigel explains the difficulties of dating throughout history in her book, and identifies something new about our current era. “But what’s ironic is that more of the work now is not actually around the interaction you have with a person, it’s around the selection process, and the process of self-presentation”.